Love Me, Leave Me
by Kaybea13
Summary: Ulrich spills his darkest secret to Odd.  What is this secret?  How does Odd react? UxO Slight Slash meaning boyxboy relationship! Don't like, don't read.  No flames!  Warning: Character Death
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Okay so this isn't how I normally write and it went in a completely different direction than I had originally intended it to, but you know how characters sometimes just decide to do something competely different than what you want them to. Personally though, I found that I like it alot better than what I had originally planned. I have another Odd/Ulrich fic that I am currently working on, but this story popped into my head and begged to be written. Anyway, please read and review, but no flames please! This is a slight UxO I guess. Warning: Character Death!_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Code Lyoko, but if I did, Odd and Ulrich would definately show more feelings towards each other. _:)**

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><p><em>Love. It's something that everyone feels at some point in their life, whether it's between them and family members or their friends or even one specific person. Everyone deserves to be loved by at least one person in their life. At least that's what I've been told. I've also been told that true love, the strongest of them all, the one that is only felt between two people, can only be shared by a male and female. If it is between two males or two females, then it cannot possibly be true love. No, it can at most be love between best friends. Personally though, I believe that what I have been told is wrong. True love does not have any boundaries, and two men or two women can have that connection. I don't see anything wrong with it, never have never will, but then again, when something applies to you, you normally don't see it as being wrong.<em>

_The truth is, I'm in love with my best friend, my roommate, the class clown, and the guy who's dated probably every girl in our grade and the one ahead of us. No, it's not four different people, ever though he does eat enough food for that many, it's just one. His pale blue eyes stare deep into my soul whenever we make eye contact, which is not nearly enough for my taste. His hair is another thing entirely. It's gelled back into a spike behind his head, blond in color with a peculiar patch of purple that grows naturally. Fashion wise, his style is rather eccentric. Purple and pink on a boy normally don't work, but for him it is fitting. Compared to me and our other friends, he is rather short, his hair helping his height by about six inches not to mention the fact that his shoes are probably three inches tall as well._

_He's known as the biggest flirt in school, which once again makes me realize that he probably doesn't and never will like me. The girls flock to him because of his charm and all the guys are jealous and despise him because of that. But I, on the other hand, am jealous of the girls. They get all of his attention and won't be shunned if they ever date him._

_I've never really thought of myself as being gay because I don't like all guys. It's just one in particular and it always has been. I guess I could be considered bisexual, but then that would imply that I could go either way if I wanted. Right now though, all I want is __**him**__._

"Ulrich?" The brunette looked up from his journal at his roommate who was sitting on his bed across the room.

"Yeah Odd?" His heart fluttered, when he saw his roommate lounging on his bed, his dog lying on his chest asleep. His hair was down because of the shower that he had just taken. It made him look funny, but it was a nice change from the normal spiked do.

"What are you working on? You seem to be concentrating very hard on something so I know that it can't be homework. You never put forth that much effort on your school work ever." Odd laughed, running his hand through his perfect blond hair.

Ulrich blushed. "Oh, nothing. It's nothing." Quickly he closed his journal and slid it underneath his pillow where he normally kept it. Thankfully Odd never really snooped around on his side of the room so he would never find his journal, never find out how many entries just had to do with him.

Odd eyed Ulrich suspiciously, but dropped the conversation. "So, how are things with you and Yumi?"

He threw a pillow across the room at Odd, waking up Kiwi and causing him to run and hide in the bottom drawer of Odd's dresser. "Odd you know that I'm not dating, nor will I ever date Yumi." The brunette understood why his blond roommate thought that about him and Yumi, he did make it seem like he liked her, but that was only to keep everyone from finding out his true feelings.

"Why not? You two would make a very good couple. Everyone in the school thinks so, well except for Sissi, but she doesn't really count as a person does she?" He laughed again and Ulrich's stomach did flips at the sound.

"Because, well, because I really like someone else." _What are you saying Ulrich!_ He thought. _You can't tell him!_

"Oh really now?" Odd rolled over onto his stomach and faced Ulrich, giving him his complete attention. "And who is that?"

"You know them, for starters, they are really sweet and everyone loves them." He tried to be as vague as possible, while making everything he said apply to Odd.

"Wow they sound pretty amazing. Are they in our grade? What do they look like? What color is their hair? How often do you talk to her?" I gulped. Of course Odd thought I was in love with a girl, it's not like I had openly told him I was gay or something like that.

"Yes they are in our grade. Their hair is blond, eyes a soft blue, and I talk with them at least once a day if not much more."

"She sounds very pretty and she must be amazing if she can get you to talk to her. You're normally very quiet."

_Trust me, he is_, Ulrich thought.

"So do I get to know their name?" Odd asked wanting to know what girl was so lucky to be loved by Ulrich. A sudden twang of jealousy overcame him, but why? Why was he jealous of this girl? It's not like he liked Ulrich, because that would mean he was gay and that would be wrong.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes! Stop drawing it out and just tell me. Please!" Before Ulrich knew what he was saying, he began talking.

"First off, their initials are ODR, but it's not a girl. I'm gay but only for one person. You know them better than you think." Both Ulrich's and Odd's eyes got huge as they realized what he was saying. "It's you Odd. And it has been for awhile. Yumi was just a cover." They sat in silence for a few minutes staring at each other. Odd was too shocked to move. "Well aren't you going to say something?"

Odd unfroze and reached for his pillow and blanket. "I'm sleeping in Jeremie's room tonight." Quickly he ran out of the room and down the hall, slamming the door behind him. Ulrich stared at the door out of which his friend had just run and burst into tears.

"I'm so stupid for telling him! I knew the feelings weren't mutual." Ulrich fell back onto his bed and sobbed, his head buried in his pillow.

"Jeremie!" Odd said, banging on the genius' door with his fist.

The other blond opened the door, clearly annoyed at his friend for coming to his room this late at night and disturbing his sleep. "What is it Odd? Don't you know what time it is?"

"Yes, but I really need to ask you something. Can I sleep in here tonight? I really need to talk to someone." Odd started to walk into the room, but Jeremie barred the doorway stopping him from entering.

"Why on earth can't you just talk to Ulrich about it and leave me out of whatever your problem is?"

"Because it's about him. Now let me in!" Odd pushed past the other boy and threw his stuff on the perfectly made bed. Jeremie sighed when he realized that Odd would not be leaving anytime soon, and shut the door behind him.

"What's wrong?" Jeremie made his way to his computer chair and sat down while Odd was on the floor.

"Well you see Ulrich and I were doing work and it was getting too quiet for my taste so I decided to strike up a conversation…" Odd retold the previous hour's events to Jeremie in exact order and detail. "Jeremie he told me that he loves me. What am I supposed to do? To love him back as more than a friend would be wrong, but I don't want to break his heart. I don't know what to feel." Odd put his head in his hands and sighed.

"I don't know how to help you with Ulrich. I can barely figure out my relationship with Aelita, let alone someone else's. Now you can sleep in here until you figure it out, but I can't help you. I'm sorry." He got up from his chair and sat on his bed, throwing Odd's pillow and blanket at him before turning off the lights.

"Goodnight Odd. I hope everything works out for you." Jeremie took off his glasses and set them on his desk.

"Goodnight Jeremie and thanks, I hope it does too."

Odd avoided Ulrich everyday for the next week and a half. In the classes for the first couple of days in which they normally sat next to each other, Odd didn't acknowledge the fact that Ulrich was there. At lunch he sat on the opposite side of the table instead of his normal spot next to his best friend. This all hurt Ulrich, but nothing compared to the hurt he felt when Odd chose to sleep in Jeremie's room every night. He was in the other blonde's room so much he practically lived there now.

Every night Ulrich would lie in his bed on his side, facing the empty bed across the room, and cry himself to sleep. His confession to Odd wasn't meant to tear apart their friendship, in fact, he thought it would bring them closer together, but he was sadly proven wrong. In addition to their fading friendship, Sissi had found out about Ulrich's sexual preference and had told Millie who then put it in the school news. Everyone made fun of him and called him nasty names and words. After going through the torture of the first day of the school finding out, he decided to skip all of his classes after that.

Yumi, Aelita, and Jeremie hated seeing the two best friends torn apart. They hardly ever saw Ulrich except for when they took him his meals. And they all had gotten numerous hours of detention for fighting those who talked about Ulrich in a bad light. It was hard for them to believe, but they still accepted him nonetheless.

Ulrich however, was sick of how he was being treated by everyone, including his friends. He thought that by the time the week was over everything would return back to the way it was, but much to his disappointment, it hadn't. Instead, it had gotten much worse. That morning a note filled with slurs and nasty threats had been anonymously slipped under his door. It wasn't the first, but he certainly would make sure it was the last. He was sick and tired of being called names and being picked on. He just wanted to be treated like a normal person, not a freak for once in this past week.

Buried in the back of his bottom dresser was a small shoe box, the contents of which were perfect for what he was planning to do. Before he could change his mind, Ulrich retrieved the box, grabbed his journal and pencil, and left his room. Luckily, everyone else was in class and they would be for the next half hour. This made it easier for him to sneak into the woods without anyone stopping him.

He knew that hidden deep within the depths of the forest was a small meadow. Back when he and Odd were still friends, they would often go there on weekends when either of them just needed to talk. It was the only place on the Kadic Academy grounds that Ulrich felt safe and at peace. Today, it would serve as his refuge.

When he finally made it to the meadow, he could faintly hear the sound of the afternoon dismissal bell ringing in the distance. A small smile crept onto his lips when he realized that he would never have to listen to the obnoxious sound of the bell again. He found the big oak tree that he had shared countless secrets with Odd under and sat down amongst the gnarled roots. He opened his journal to the first blank page and wrote a new entry.

_If anyone is to ever find me, it would be you Odd. I'm so sorry for ruining our friendship by telling you how I truly felt about you. However, honesty is the best policy so I decided to be honest with you. I just didn't think that you would give me the cold shoulder like that. It would have been amazing if you had liked me back, but I knew that wasn't the case, but just showing that you weren't freaked out by my feelings towards you would have been enough. _

_If you thought that you were helping me by avoiding me this past week, you were wrong. All you did was hurt me even more. And that, my dear friend, is why when you read this; you will find me to be no longer alive. I can't take the abuse that I am getting from everyone day in and day out, not to mention the fact that my father and mother haven't even found out about it yet. When they do, all hell will break loose and I don't think that I am ready to face that alone. We could've been something great, if you had just given me a chance to explain to you what I was feeling, but instead you ran, just like I was afraid that you would. _

_Goodbye, my dear friend. Have fun with your straight relationships and being around your 'normal' friends. By taking myself out of the picture, it's just one less 'weirdo' that you have to deal with. I'm sorry for any embarrassment that I have caused you. I didn't want to hurt you in any way. _

_Please read the rest of this journal, or at least parts of it and you'll really know what I was going through and feeling. You were probably one of the best friends that I have ever had-and I thank you for that-but when I needed you the most, you left me. Goodbye, Odd. I love you._

_Love, Ulrich_

He added an entry for each one of his friends, but none went as deep as Odd's. He closed the leather bound book and placed it on the ground next to him, the pencil perfectly perched on top. With a heavy sigh, Ulrich opened the box next to him and pulled out the gun that had been hidden for so long. He had taken it from his house one day when the XANA attacks were getting really bad to use for protection. But today, its use was intended to cause harm.

He made sure that there were bullets in the gun, two to be exact, just in case the first one missed or didn't kill him. With shaky hands, he lifted the gun to his head, resting it on his temple. "Goodbye." He whispered to the air. "I'm finally going to be free." With tears rolling down his cheeks, he pulled the trigger and his world went black.

_**Sad I know, but hey, it's what the characters wanted me to write. I have a second chapter halfway written, this time following Odd. Please let me know what you think about the story and what I could do to make it better/improve my writing skills. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry that this took forever. I had horrible writer's block and just lost motivation for the whole thing, but the idea came to me today so I was finally able to finish it. Sorry if the ending is to fast paced or abrupt, but I sorta liked how I ended it. Disclaimer: Code Lyoko is not mine. Warning: Character Death.**

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><p>Upon finding out Ulrich's feelings for him, Odd shied away from his best friend. He never expected him to be gay. In fact, he always felt that Ulrich would have been the straight one. The truth was, he wasn't sure how he felt about Ulrich, but he knew that he wasn't in love with him. In order to try to think things through, he decided to stay with Jeremie for a couple of days and keep away from Ulrich. The blond thought it would be for the best if he didn't tell Ulrich that he didn't feel the same way, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want to hurt his best friend. Sure he liked him, but on no more than a friend level. Yes there had been a couple of times that he felt something towards his roommate, but those moments only happened for seconds at a time.<p>

Somehow, Sissi must have overheard Odd telling Yumi about Ulrich and that little snitch decided that if she couldn't have Ulrich, she would just have to let the whole school know about his sexuality. That day was the worse day in the history of Odd's time at Kadic. When he saw Ulrich surrounded by a group of kids, trying to break free with tears streaming down his face, he knew that he best friend had been found out. He wanted to comfort him, tell him not to worry about the teasing and the hurtful words, but he didn't. He refused to so much as look at Ulrich when they were in each other's presence. Little did he know, that his actions were what slowly killed his best friend.

When the teasing started getting out of control, he noticed that Ulrich stopped coming to his classes. The teachers didn't care, in fact some were even happy that he wasn't there. Odd even overheard a teacher telling another that they were glad that the 'fag' wasn't coming to class. Even though Odd had had nothing to do with Ulrich for the days preceding that day, he still felt a surge of anger when he heard how homophobic his teachers really were. He went right up to them and decided to give them a piece of his mind, which resulted in four hours detention.

It's been a week since then and things still haven't gotten any better. In fact, they've gotten worse. Principal Delmas had to hold an assembly that morning about bullying others because they are different then yourself. Most people ignored what he was saying and decided to sleep the whole assembly or talk with their friends. It angered Odd, but there was nothing he could do to stop them. He was helpless. After the assembly, Aelita pulled Odd aside while Jeremie and Yumi went to their classes. She led him over to their favorite bench and sat down.

"Odd, when was the last time you talked to Ulrich?"

"When he told me how he felt."

"And that was what? Like a week ago?"

Odd nodded, too ashamed to speak. He hadn't realized that it had been that long.

"You know how Principal Delmas was talking about how he will not tolerate anyone bullying another student, and that we shouldn't either? Well Odd, just because you aren't physically or verbally abusing Ulrich about him being gay, you are emotionally by ignoring him. Did you know that he cries himself to sleep every night? Right now he doesn't care whether or not you like him back, he just wants you to talk to him again. He misses you Odd. I know that you will beat anyone up who is bullying Ulrich, but what will you do now that you know you're just as bad as any of them?" Aelita stood up, putting her hand on Odd's shoulder. "The bell is about to ring, so I suggest that you go to class. But please, just think about what I just said. I hate seeing you two this way. You used to be so close. Please, if you don't do it for anyone else, do it for me." She lightly kissed his cheek in a friendly way, and headed off to her class.

As much as he hated to admit it, Aelita was right. He hated that he was hurting Ulrich, and there was something he really needed to tell him. He grabbed his backpack from beside the bench, and went off to class. Ms. Hertz's class went by slowly and was boring as always. Odd stared out the window, because too much was running through his mind for him to sleep. Halfway through the class, Odd noticed someone walking across the campus with a box under their arm. Upon closer inspection, he realized that it was Ulrich and he was heading towards the forest.

He knew that Ulrich had to have been going one of two places. He was either heading to the factory, or the meadow that they went to when they wanted to be alone. If he was in the meadow, then they could talk once Odd got out of class. Odd looked at the clock, willing the half hour he had left to go faster.

When the bell finally rang, Odd was the first out the door. It was the last class of the day, and he knew that Yumi, Aelita, and Jeremie would be waiting for him at their favorite bench. In order to avoid them though, he would have to go to his room first. When he got to his door he sighed before entering, not knowing what to expect.

At first glance, it still looked the same, not a thing out of place. His side of the room was untouched, still as messy as always. Ulrich's side on the other hand was immaculate, but upon closer inspection he saw a small bit of purple tucked under the corner of his pillow. He went over to see what it was. When he pulled the small bit of material, it turned into a shirt, one of _his _shirts.

"He's been sleeping with one of my shirts? Man, he really does love me." Odd groaned. He had hoped that Ulrich was just in a phase.

Besides the shirt, not a thing was out of place on Ulrich's side of the room except for the bottom drawer of his dresser. It was open and everything was moved around. Odd threw his stuff on his bed and left the room, angrily. Too many painful memories were coming back to him for his taste.

The forest wasn't that far away from the dorms, and he knew that Jeremy, Aelita, and Yumi would be waiting for him at the bench so he would have to go the back way to the meadow that was buried deep within the trees. He didn't want them to follow him when he went to find Ulrich. He just wanted to talk to the brunette alone.

After twenty minutes or so of stumbling through the thick foliage, Odd came up behind the huge oak tree that he used to sit with Ulrich under all the time. Odd had many memories of under that tree, all of which were good. From where he was he could see Ulrich's hand, meaning that he had picked the correct place to find his roommate. However, Odd was not expecting what he saw next.

"Ulrich?" He hesitantly asked as he made his way around the base of the oak tree. When he saw his best friend he gasped. "Ulrich." Slumped against the base of the tree lay Ulrich, a gun in his hand, his journal on his chest. Odd fell to his knees next to his fallen friend.

"This is all my fault. I'm the reason he's dead." Silent tears fell down Odd's cheek. Hesitantly, Odd raised his hand and stroked Ulrich's cheek with its back. His skin was still warm. "I was too late. I should have faked being sick, gotten out of class, done anything I could to follow him when I saw him earlier. I didn't even get to tell him."

He picked up the journal on Ulrich's chest. He opened the book to a dog-eared page and started reading. It was the suicide note that Ulrich had left for him. The silent tears turned into heart-wrenching sobs. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do. He grabbed the gun from Ulrich, instead intertwining their fingers; rapidly cooling fingers, mixed with warm, living ones. _Not for long_, Odd thought.

The blond jotted down a quick note at the bottom of the page of Ulrich's suicide letter, his normally messy scrawl seeming even messier due to his hurriedness. With a final check to see if there were any bullets left in the gun, one to be exact, he put the cold metal to his temple, his eyes on Ulrich's face.

"Soon I shall see you, please be waiting." With a quick pull of the trigger, Ulrich faded from the blonde's view forever. That day he not only lost a friend or his life, he lost the potential to be something great with a person that he had always loved, but never realized.

_Dear everyone,_

_I loved him. I really loved back and I was too stupid to realize. I was too late. He killed himself because of me. And now, as you can probably tell, I killed myself as well. I cannot, and will not, live in a world without Ulrich. Goodbye._

_Love, Odd._

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><p><strong>AN: So how'd you like it? Please review, like I said sorry for abrupt ending. And no there will not be a sequel to this. You can imagine Aelita's, Yumi's, and Jeremie's reactions on your own. The other two Code Lyoko stories are in the works as well, but I haven't forgotten about them! Until next time!**

**-Kaybea**


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